I Don’t Want To Name Names

My name is Joshua Abelow. It feels great to write my name. I love the way it looks in print. 
It looks great typewritten or handwritten. It looks especially beautiful on the face of a big 
check. Most people call me Josh, but recently a girl from Switzerland told me she prefers 
calling me Joshua because it’s more beautiful. I told her I was fine with that. My birth name 
is, in fact, Joshua, but Josh is easier for Americans to say and I grew up in America. I 
decided to use Joshua, instead of Josh, as my professional name because I like the way the 
“A” at the end of Joshua lines up with the “A” at the beginning of Abelow. Like this:
JOSHUA ABELOW. One of the reasons I decided to become an artist at an early age is 
because Abelow is an interesting-sounding name. It sounded artistic to me so I figured I 
must be artistic, too. Famous artists always have interesting-sounding names. I’m not 
famous, but I’m convinced my name is preceding me in this regard. Fame is just around the
corner, like my next lover or girlfriend. A name must look good in print for an artist to 
become relevant – this is common knowledge. The downside to having a good-looking
name is that the work might not live up to the name. What a drag that would be. It happens 
all the time, but I don’t want to name names.